It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Randomize
