Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
