i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I supernannyed him into submission
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
