dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
