I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
It was a blind-side dick pic.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Randomize
