after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Randomize
