hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Randomize
