I wish I only lived at night.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Randomize
