do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
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