im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
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