my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Randomize
