why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Randomize
