talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Randomize
