Pappa wants mamma naked
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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