That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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