I just made out with a guy for $7.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
