We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
i just sent this text using only my big toe
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
The cops high fived after they tackled you
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