Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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