Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
