so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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