we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Randomize
