the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Randomize
