the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize
