I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
Randomize
