Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
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