yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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