I think I can smell my own vagina right now
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
