i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
He has the fingertips of a God
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