You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize