He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I puked a lego.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize
