also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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