In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
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