how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Randomize
