It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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