Do you still have your period?
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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