4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Your tits are I can't wait for
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Randomize
