Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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