Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Everything about him screamed your future.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
