Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
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