dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
