Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
