Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Randomize
