It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
