I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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