he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Randomize
