is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
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