billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Randomize
