let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
