like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
