his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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