i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
