i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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