I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
