ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Randomize
