Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
