Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Randomize
