Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
