I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Randomize
