Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
