every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
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