i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
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