i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
