There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
They left me at home... I'm a liability
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
